Silly States of the US of A
by Neary K
Summary: A look into the life of America's children-the STATES! Also featuring a horrible summary!
1. Coming to the Meeting

Silly States of the US of A

"All right!" America looked at the other Allied nations. "Any questions?"

"I have one good one," England looked at his former colony, "Who in all of bloody Eurasia has a pterodactyl? ALSO. How are we supposed to fly on it, git?"

"Because we're just that cool." America took out another hamburger, "So! We know the plan. Who has a pterodactyl?" Canada looked up from where he was being unnoticed. "Uh…I have-"

"L'Angleterre, what is that noise?" France was inching closer "Because I know that you seem to know everything in the world…"

"France, is it that difficult, aru? Obviously somebody is running over here, aru. The question is who it is, aru."

At that moment, two younger looking nations ran in. A girl with golden blond hair was holding a baseball bat, running after a boy with messy black hair and a Nantucket looking thing like America. They were currently running in circles around the table, yelling back and forth.

"NEW YO'K! YOU A'E SO DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" The girl yelled at the boy, who looked thoroughly scared of her.

"WELL IS IT REALLY MY FAULT?"

YO'K IT'S ALWAYS YOU' FAULT!"

"AAAALFREEEEED! SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME WITH A BASEBALL BAT!"

"Ooooh…" America instantly recognized the two children. "What did you do this time, Nate?"

"W-what? Me? I didn't do anything!" the girl stopped behind him, watching with her baseball bat.

"Yeah, t'y telling that to Delewhe'e. He neve' lies." She then looked over at England, seeming to start to remember who he was.

"Hey…wait a sec…" They both walked over to England. The boy looked at the actual country, and also seemed to remember.

"Arthur?" He looked confused for a few moments before it clicked. "Oh yeah… I KNOW YOU!" The yelling caught England off-guard, who stepped back, still examining the two.

"You're… New York…" he looked at the boy, then looking at the girl, "and…you are…Massachusetts?" England hoped he got the names right. It was hard remembering 13 of them. But for America to remember 50, plus Porter Rico? That, he could never do.

"Hey!" New York exclaimed excitedly. "You remembered my name! That is soo cool! Can you get Mass to stop running after me with a baseball bat?" He looked at Massatuchsetts, then New York, and finally to America.

"Should I even ask?" America smiled.

"You have no idea."

At that, several others entered. A boy who looked like a miniature America with green eyes, another with sandy blond hair cut a bit shorter, but with blue eyes. Along with them was another boy who looked similar to Canada. The three ran in, stopping at the door all at once.

"Uh…the mini-America straitened out. "S-sorry about those two. They sorta hate each other when it comes to sports." The taller blond also stood up strait, looking at England.

"England-san, its nice to see you again." He smiled, reminding England who he was without saying anything.

"Delewhere…? It is you." He smiled in return. "I'm glad one of you is sane."

"Yes, they can be a handful. Especially the 13 original…" he said, looking at the others.

"Um…" the one that looked like Canada walked over to New York. "I-I don't think that…uh…f-fighting with Massachusetts will really-"

"Who are you again?" He sighed, looking at New York.

"I'm Michigan…"

"Oh yeah!" America seemed to have just remembered the little northern state. "Now I remember who I was missing in head counts!"

"W-well, I guess it's-"

"It's Porter Rico!" the little mitten shaped state seemed to melt. Canada went over to him, petting him one the head.

"It's all right," he said, sighing, "I go through the same thing every day."

"Oh God…" New York suddenly seemed concerned over something. "Hey you guys! Where's Alexi?" The other states eyes widened.  
"This is 'ealy bad. Whe'e would he be?" Hawaii walked in. she didn't need much of an introduction, seeing a grass skirt and flowers in her hair were enough to tell who she was.

"Where do you think he would be guys? Alexi went off to be a Russian providence of Canada again." She seemed worried at that. "I think he's actually going to pull it off this time, too..." The other states that were there looked around the room before hearing somebody.

"You are right. And yes, I was successful in this attempt. It is very good, oui?"

"NO WAY!" America was clearly in despair. "I BOUGHT YOU! YOU CAN'T GO BACK TO RUSSIA!"

"I'm not. Had you been listening to what I was saying, I am a Russian providence of Canada. You let me do this, oui?"

"You give Alexi to Canada now, DA?" Russia walked over to Alaska, who was holding a led pipe like Russia. He had a scarf like Russia and a Canadian sweater, which brought a thought to England, which he didn't think twice about asking.

"Y'know, Russia, Alas- er, Alexi looks like your kid with Canada or something…" America nearly died.

"Oui."

"Da."

"Oi, New York," Pennsylvania, the mini America, looked over at the others, "Any of you see Ohio? I'm a little worried that he's trying some weird mofia stuff…"

"Know what?" America stood up. "I have a special job for all of you!"_ Besides Alaska, who apparently doesn't like me…_ he thought to himself. "I want all of you to go fix all the bridges in America! This is a very important and heroic job, so I want all of you to go do what ever you can!" All the states left to go do so, but not without Massachusetts hitting New York one more time.

"Bloody heck, that was odd." England sighed.

"Ve, it was weird."

Oh, not again.


	2. Being a Country

**A/N**

**Ok, do you remember this thing that I wrote about a week back? Well, I have inspiration for it again. So, please enjoy, R and R.**

America smiled, standing in the rain with thirteen other children. He spun around, laughing.

"We're free! We did it! We're all independent now! Hahaha!" The states watched their superior, wondering just how well everything would go. Then, one girl decided to join in.

"so…I guess…" Massachusetts took in a deep breath. "WE DID IT!" she yelled out dancing in the rain. New York and Pennsylvania looked at each other and figured, 'why not?'

"GOOD-BYE, TEA BASTARD!" the others, including America, burst out laughing.

"All right," America gathered all the states into a circle, "for America, on three. One…

"Stop moving around, New Jersey," the Carolinas said in sync.

"Two…"

"S-Sorry, but I'm so nervous…"

"Three! USA OH YEAH!"

They were standing in front of the hallway, wondering what was going on. Looking at the door, America popped out.

"All right, kidos," he said leading them into the hall. "Now that we're independent, I felt it was only fair for you to have your own rooms. So, I made this, knowing we would win." He smiled at them all. "I'm sure you'll all find your rooms fitting, huh?" they all nodded, feeling fatigued. "Must be tired, huh? Well, you'll all get some rest soon. First, Delewhere."

"Thank you so much," he said, going into the room. A plate hung over it saying, 'First State'.

"Next up, Pennsylvania and New Jersey." They both looked at their new rooms, Pennsylvania across from Delewhere and New Jersey next to him. Above one said 'Keystone State', and above the other said 'Garden State'. "And after them is…Georgia and Connecticut." The 'Peach State' and 'Constitution State' were above the two rooms, and the two went in to rest. "Next is Massatuchsetts, and Maryland," above their rooms were 'Bay State' and 'Old Line State'. "Now we have the Carolina twins," he said smiling, "You have your own rooms, I just thought it would be easiest to have you across from each other." They nodded, smiling as they parted ways into the 'Tar Heel State' and the 'Palmetto State'. "Next is New Hampshire, across from Virginia." They went into the 'Granite State' and 'Old Dominion State' rooms. America smiled again, looking at the two who remained. "Well," he almost sounded sad, "New York, Rhode Island…" he motioned to the 'Empire State' and 'Ocean State' rooms, "Here you are." Rhode Island went into his room, leaving New York to stand in front of his, looking at America.

"Is something wrong, Nate?" America questioned his state, and got one word in return.

"Thanks."

And with that, Alfred F. Jones was a country.


	3. First Attack

All the union states were around a big wooden table looking at each other.

"Well," Delewhere started, "any ideas as to how to stop the Confederate states?" He looked around the room, trying to figure something out. He looked down after another good thirty seconds of awkward silence, fidgeting. New York then jumped up.

"OI! Why not just tell them to stop?"

"IDIOT!" Massachusetts jumped up next to him. "If it we'e that easy, slave'y wouldn't be a p'oblem!"

"Well," Kansas said calmly, holding a sunflower, "It's not like fighting amongst ourselves will do anything…"

"Got it!" Ohio and Pennsylvania both jumped out of their seats, joining the other standing states. "We decided…" Ohio looked to Pennsylvania to finish. "That we should take part of Virginia!"

"B-But…" Michigan looked at the two who were plotting already. "I don't think that Virginia would really appreciate that…"

"Who really cares?" Rhode Island said without even bothering to look up from his Game Boy. " 'Sides, nobody else seems to have any brilliant ideas." And their plan went into action as the two left in a frenzy.

He was stunned. _Very _stunned.

Somehow, Virginia failed to notice his little brother run off with New York and Massachusetts. And he was not happy. Actually, he was seething with rage.

"All right!" he yelled to the other Confederate states. "Now what?" Nobody moved. As anyone could guess, Virginia wasn't happy. Then an unlikely candidate stood.

"You know what-!" South Carolina stormed over to the door.

"H-Hey wait! Sis, where are you going?" North Carolina ran over to her older sister with concern in her eyes. "Don't just run out on us!"

"YOU WANNA IDEA?" she yelled to no one state in particular. "I'M GOIN' OVER THERE AND TELLIN' 'EM WHAT _I _THINK ABOUT ALL THIS!" She stormed out the door, Virginia following close behind.

"Hey wait! I need to come too! I need my little bro!"

"Neeeeeeeeh!" West Virginia whined as his older brother pulled on his sleeve. "I don't wanna go back!"

"Well you are!" Virginia yelled, pulling his sleeve.

"H-HEY!" New York and Massachusetts pulled West Virginia away again. They had been fighting for quite awhile, and they seemed to be playing territorial tug-of-war. Then they heard something from outside, and South Carolina fell on the floor. She had been attacked by her own Confederates.

"Nngh…" She steadied herself, and standing up, she turned to leave. "Th-This is…only the start for you…" and with that she exited with Virginia helping her.

And yes, it was only the start.


	4. The War Isn't Over To Virginia

"WHY THE HELL'D YOU ATTACK ME?" South Carolina yelled at the other confederate states, who looked very scared of her.

"W-Well…" Florida tried not to look too scared, "there was a fort we needed to get New York away from. Did you _think_ we would go easy on him?" she gritted her teeth, staring at Florida. "Anyways, we have other things to attend to. So no hard feelings?" she held out her hand to South Carolina and smiled when the other state shook it.

"All that aside," Virginia walked to the middle of the room. "How are our slaves getting away?" the other slave states stared in confusion.

"Wait, they're getting out?" Georgia asked. "So where would they all go?" the others shrugged.

"Either way," Virginia addressed them all, "We will NOT lose!"

And they fought for four years.

And lost…

Present Day

If anyone said that the Confederate states and Union states were currently on good terms, they would be wrong beyond belief.

"Oh yeah," Virginia flopped on the couch next to South Carolina and New York. "We are so cool." He ranted to nobody in particular. "We've like, never lost a war, right South?" New York looked over, irritated.

"What are you going on about? Does the Civil War not count?" Virginia glared over at New York. "I mean, everyone knows the north won that." He informed the southern state with a smirk.

"Wait," South Carolina looked at the two. "We didn't win?"

"Heck no!" Massachusetts said from the kitchen, where she was peacefully making a sandwich. "I can't believe you actually thought you guys won that."

"But we did!" Virginia claimed.

"No way in DC you did!" New York yelled back.

"Was I a state then?" Utah chimed in.

"I wouldn't interrupt if I were you…" Nevada warned him. They watched the two states yell it out before Missouri appeared out of his room and ran over to the two with Maryland, both intending to get the two away from each other.

"Hey!" they managed to pull the states apart, who had begun wrestling on the floor. "Come on you two! That was 1861! It's 2010 now!"

"SO?" they yelled in unison. "Stay out of this! You two didn't even pick a side!"

"That's we're keeping you two from killing each other!"

Yes, if you thought they would let it go after 149 years, you were mistaken.

**A/N**

**All righty. Chapter 4. Oh yeah. Yes, apparently some people in the south still think that they won the war. Also, my history is a little out of order. Go to the link at the end if you want to know the rest. **

**MORMONS! MORMONS ARE COMING!1**

.


	5. Utah And The Mormons

The young territory ran off towards America's house. He had a question that he hoped America would answer how he wanted.

"Heeey! Hey! America!" he ran inside, smiling at his superior. "Ameeeericaaaaaaaa?"

"Yes, yes I'm here Utah." He said, looking down at the brunet boy. "What is it?"

"Can I be a state?" America looked at the ceiling, considering the territory's request. Then he considered who lived in Utah. Having people who get married to more than one person may not be the best of ideas.

"No." he said quite apathetically.

"Aww…" Utah pouted. "Why not?"

"Because." America turned on his heel. "You're a Mormon." Utah pouted as he walked back to his house. _I can't be that stupid,_ he thought to himself. _Why did he say I was a moron? Well, I'll prove him wrong._

Several Days Later

"Hey! America!" Utah ran in, looking quite proud of himself. "America!"

"What?" America sighed. He was busy with trying to calm the two economic systems that had emerged.

"I learned long division! And long multiplication!"

"Um, all right…" he responded, wondering what that had to do with anything. "Good job, I guess…"

"Can I be a state now?" America sighed having answered the same question several days earlier.

"I already told you no."

"Aww…" Utah pouted again. "Why?"

"I told you. Because you're a Mormon." He went back to his papers, leaving Utah to pout to himself as he left. _I can't be that stupid…_ he thought again. _Maybe it wasn't math that was the problem. _And the same scenario played out again and again. And again. What Utah didn't seem to realize was that America said 'Mormon' and not 'moron' so America wasn't in for a break unless he pointed that out to his annoying territory.

"Hey! America!"

"WHAT!" he yelled in frustration, partly because he had to stop the states from killing each other. The Civil War had broken out, and he was having a hard time keeping everything together. So he really didn't want Utah there.

"Can I be a state?"

"NO!" He yelled again, about ready to give up on the little territory.

"Why no-"

"YOU ARE A MORMON!" Utah looked upset.

"You know, I know you don't like me, but you shouldn't say I'm stupid."

"No," he said, and pointed to seventeen people getting married. "Them."

"Oh yeah, them." He replied numbly. "So can I be a state?"


	6. New York's Driving

America walked into the Allies meeting room, looking very pale.

"Er…Alfred?" England said, walking over to the younger nation. "Are you feeling okay?" America shook his head and flopped into his respective chair.

"Ah, God…" he stared at the ceiling as color returned to his face. "Remind me never to _ever_ let New York drive again." He sighed, sitting up more. "Man, I need someone to teach that kid to drive. I or whoever else would do it had better never let him near a car again." At that California and New Jersey skipped into the room.

"Does this mean _we_ can drive?" New Jersey asked hopefully. California was smiling behind her, imagining everywhere he could go with America's car.

"N-No you can't. If you're not as good as Montana, you can't use _my_ car."

"Cool!" the two ran out, either to learn to drive from Montana or steal another car to drive. America stared at where the two had been standing, then turned to the others.

"**ANYWAY!"**

**A/N**

**Yeah. New York has the most people who failed a drivers test. . is where I found that so if you want feel free to check your states rank.**

**Gaaaah I'm out of ideas already. Somebody please help? THINK OF THIS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A DESPERATE WRITER! DX**


	7. Pearl Harbor

America walked home from the meeting, having not resolved anything. It wasn't his fault, of course. If England would shut up and let him be the hero, things would have went much slower. That, and if there wasn't some weird invisible force by the name Canada. Who was that anyway? He walked in the house as he snapped out of his train of thought.

"Hey! America!" Utah, as usual, ran over to greet his superior with bad news. "Hawaii got bombed!"

"What?" America ran past him and into Hawaii's room where she was laying on her bed, half unconscious. He turned to the blond sitting by her bed.

"California, is she okay? What happened? Who was it!" America yelled to California with concern in his eyes.

"It was Japan." She said numbly. "I guess he finally got to Pearl Harbor." She stood up, facing America, who was comforting a shaken Hawaii. "I can only think to attack Kiku and the other Japs for this. What do you say?" America stood up and led California out of the room.

"Well, let the war begin." He said, smirking at the thought of beating Japan to a pulp.

"…And that's why we don't trust the Japs!" California declared to Porter Rico, who looked at her with a very confused expression.

"Er… California…" he started, looking at her still, "That happened such a long time ago. I think you can stop saying Jap-"

"NOOO! I WILL **CONTINUE** TO CALL HIM A JAP!" She flai- er, _yelled_, and exited the room in a super pout fit.

"Uh…" Hawaii stood where California had been moments earlier. "I'm sorry about her. She gets a bit…emotional."

"I've noticed," he answered, and went back to eating his churros.

**A/N**

**Thanks so much for the suggestions! This definitely helped with my writer's block and I shall continue now! On another random note, I typed this listening to 'Take It Easy' by Hatsune Miku. O.o Vocaloids are inspirational, no?**

**R&R Plz?**


	8. Too Much Trash

Illinois skipped over to Wisconsin's house, who had called him over for some reason. He continued into the house without knocking. Surely his _best friend_ in the _world _wouldn't mind at all, right?

"FOR MADISON'S SAKE ILLINOIS!" Wisconsin yelled, jumping from his seat. "Please knock if you're coming next time."

"Awww…" Illinois whined. "I didn't think you would mind." He sighed and went to Wisconsin's refrigerator to eat some cheese. "SO! Why did you need me?"

"Lake Michigan." He said bluntly. "Magic said you were putting too much trash into his lake and wanted you to stop. I don't know where he is though." Wisconsin looked around the room, completely missing the fact that Michigan had been standing there the whole time.

"Oh, Michiy ~ " Illinois sighed. "He's just way too sensitive." He took another bite of cheese, leaning back into the couch. "What am I going to do?"

"You know what?" Wisconsin pinched the bridge of his nose. He _did_ like Illinois (more than he would let on at that) but _really?_ "All right, I'll go easy on you." He stood up and walked out of the room, returning with some papers. "I'm suing you now. You've been sued."

"WHAT? !" he yelled, staring at his boy - er, _best_ friend. "How could you do this? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" he put his hand up to his forehead like a soap opera actor. Wisconsin sighed, feeling some guilt as his friend flopped onto the couch again.

"C'mon, just stop putting so much trash into Lake Michigan and – hey, Michigan! When did you get here?" Michigan sighed._ This must be what Canada feels like all the time_. "Well, anyway." He looked at his boy – _best _friend, "I'll see you again next week. And will you get your feet off the table?"

"I LOVE YOU TOO! ~ " Illinois sang as he left Wisconsin's house, who was currently banging his head on a very abused-feeling wall.

**A/N**

**Okay! We have successfully sued Illinois. Oh, Illinois, the only one who still believes Pluto is a planet. … No, really, they still consider Pluto a planet. They even have Pluto day. **

**As for Michigan's name, yes Magic really **_**is**_** a name.**

**Still taking suggestions, R & R?**


	9. 911

When I woke up I was still in a bit of a daze. I couldn't make out whose voices were whose. All I knew at the time was that something was wrong. Dad wasn't with these people, and they were carrying weird things, some around their necks. Out the window I could only see grey. It was very dark, lots of grey clouds close to the ground…

And then it hit me.

I didn't know when or why, but I had heard some plane overhead before I fell to the ground, coughing violently. I clearly tasted blood in my mouth before I caught the smell of smoke behind me. I looked over, and the next thing I know, the Twin Towers at the World Trade Center were in flames, crumbling to the ground. They were surrounded in smoke, but I knew there was no restoring them. They were my glasses, and the lenses had snapped. I knew without seeing because the glass had dug into my palm as I tried to support myself.

And they had snapped in half.

I screamed something about my people, my country, but what I said remains unknown because I can't remember. I could remember running to find my dad in front of the Towers, but he wasn't there. It would have been useful to have had a megaphone, but I think I passed out when something hit the back of my head, then yelling if I was okay or something…

I knew I was in a hospital as I thought through it all. I felt on the desk for my glasses but figured I wouldn't see them again. I felt so useless, knowing my people and family were running in circles trying to figure out what to do. There I was, lying useless as a log on the hospital bed.

"NATE!"

_Huh? Who is that?_

"Nathan!"

_What's going on?_

"Hurry, it's this way, Amber, this way…"

_Dad? Amber? Is that Del with you…? Ouch…my head hurts…_

I never stayed awake long enough to see Dad, Massachusetts or Delewhere, but at least I knew they were okay.

I hope.

Several Minutes Later...

He read through the journal one more time. New York still couldn't remember what all the commotion was about at the hospital, and nobody had the heart to say almost 2600 people had died in the incident. He smiled and turned away headed for the door to his Dad's shed to meet Delewhere and Massachusetts. _I'm way stronger now. That won't happen again, right? Yeah, of course I'm right!_ He told himself that and, feeling the contacts in his eyes, closed the door and ran off, energetic as usual.

**A/N **

**Ehehe...sorry about my absence again. I was at Otakon Friday to Sunday and the next few days I was totally crashed out in my bedroom. So then I was watching the History Channel and it was talking about the states and i figured it would give me ideas. Then it was like, 'NEW YORK GOT 'SPLODED!' So i figured I'd write that while listening to Love is War by Miku. (Very fitting by the way.)**

**So anyway, R&R please, still taking requests.**


	10. York vs Hampshire and Utah Refrences

"NO! I'M NOT BACKING DOWN!" New York yelled from his side of the couch at his brother. "That little area is _my_ territory."

"Well," New Hampshire started, looking leisurely at his brother, "if it's that small, then why not give it up? _I _could use some more territory, y'know." He smirked, leaning back more into his chair. "Y'know, if this calls for war, I'll defi-"

"HahAAAA!" America pranced in (wow, that French alliance he had was rubbing off on him) with a younger-looking child following. "The _real_ truth of the matter is, _NIETHER_ OF YA GET IT!" He smiled widely with that 'I can do whatever I want' look.

"…You're kidding."

"NO WAY!" New York was still pretty annoyed with Massachusetts from earlier, and this wasn't helping calm him any. He sighed, calming himself as best he could. "All right, so what'll you do with it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked, motioning to the boy behind him. "This is Vermont." He introduced the new state, who was munching on a wild leek. "He's our newest state. C'mon Vermont, I have your room all set up." He exited with Vermont, leaving New York and New Hampshire in shock until Massachusetts snapped them out of it.

"What's w'ong with you two?" she asked them, raising an eyebrow. "Look like you saw a gho-"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" New York yelled in frustrated harmony with New Hampshire.

"Eh…" Massachusetts took a step back, turning back to the stairs I'll be leaving now, um… you too have fun simultaneously sc'eaming… " The two boys looked at each other, still frustrated with America.

"Yeah, and one day karma will get back to him." New Hampshire said as he sighed and lay down on the couch.

"How?" New York asked, taking his example, "with a state obsessed territory?"

And some time later in the future, America was banging his head on a wall and cursing at a certain Utahn.

**A/N**

**Wow…just…yeesh. How long have I been gone?**

**I'm seriously sorry for anyone who was waiting for me to update. I've been so lazy and this wasn't too long either… **

**Anyway… please review if you still don't hate me?**


	11. Food After Freedom

"So am I a country or not?" Alfred asked impatiently.

"Dad, it's just if we're going to fight against Britain for freedom." New Jersey answered. "But…" he looked at Maryland, who shrugged apologetically. "Del's representative couldn't choose."

"Ahh…" Massachusetts sighed simultaneously with New York. "It's just like I expected. We should just call Delewhe'e and see what he says."

"Yeah…" New York had his boots on the table. "All right, so until then…"

_In Delewhere…_

Delewhere stared in horror at the piece of paper that was asking him to make his own decision. It wasn't that he didn't know what to say; he knew perfectly well he wanted independence for his family. It was the fact that he had to get to the meeting house. Through rain. And lightning. And mud. He sighed, and with the paper in his pocket, he headed out to the other 12 colonies and his dad.

_Meanwhile…_

"Is he here _now?_" New York asked impatiently.

"NO!" another yelled, whose identity was so obvious no thinking was needed for Maryland to ask said yelling state a question.

"Oh, calm down, Mass." He said, holding a plate out to the other. "Want some crab? It's really yummy! ~"

"NO I do not want… oh, what the hay, give." The two dug into the crab when the doors burst open. Delewhere was trying to catch his breath when he gave the others his vote.

"In…Independence…I want independence…"

"SWEET!" Alfred yelled and jumped up on the counter. "All right, everyone! Here are your positions!"

_Present Day…_

"And lastly, England is my support!" America yelled. "And I won't-" The doors burst open, revealing an unknown teen trying to catch his breath.

"I CAST MY VOTE FOR INDEPENDENCE!" Delewhere screamed as if America had been talking to his states and not the Allied Forces.

"Del…" America put a hand on his shoulder, helping him stand up more. "Del, Del it's okay. It's okay we know I'm a country."

"Really?" he asked his dad, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, Del, I'm a country." He repeated, surprisingly calmly.

"Okay…" he stood up a bit straighter now that he had caught his breath. "That's cool… Can I go have crabs now?"

"Yeah, hey, how about you go get crabs with Maryland? I think he's been looking for you." Delewhere nodded and left, leaving America to the Allies.

"America…" England looked at him. "What did you do to that poor child?"

"MOVING ON!" he yelled into a megaphone, leaving all thoughts of crab behind.

**A/N**

**I saw somewhere that Delewhere's vote was split for independence or Britain's rule, and somebody had to run over and break the tie. **

**Also, I think they have crabs, as well as Maryland, so they get to eat crabs after Del's little flip-out.**

**You all know what I ask of you here, reviews are nice, DA? **


	12. Alaska vs America

"Hey! Alaska!" America opened the door to his new states room and jumped back.

"Shto?" he asked in Russian as he always did. Alaskans may be starting to learn English, but he refused. He was Alexei Braginski, formerly Alexei Romanov, and he wasn't about to speak English if he didn't need to. He looked at the reason America must've jumped. A Wara-Ningyo, dressed with felt clothes to look like the stupid American. It wasn't working (America would have been dead by then if it did) but it did get quite a bit of stress out. "Stho?" he asked again with more force, which made the stupid American jump again.

Maybe Americans were always so jumpy. He wouldn't know, though. He hid in his room to avoid them.

"Uh…Y-You need to meet the other states." It seemed more like a request then a command, and as a request, Alaska was free to decline.

"Почему в мире не я хочу, чтобы это сделать?" he questioned. America looked at him like he just spoke another language. Alaska sighed, rooling his eyes. "In short, why?"

"BECAUSE!" he yelled, smiling now. "I'M TH HERO!"

"Are you?" the former Russian territory questioned. Several states that were in the hall stopped dead in their tracks and watched.

"Am- What kind of question is that? !" America yelled, now determined to take control. "YEAH I'M THE HERO!"

"Well I'm very glad a hero is here," Alexei started wanting to enrage or terrify his new 'care-taker' enough to make him leave. "Because I need help. You see, an absolutely idiotic American took me away from my family. I need help getting back." America seemed to be losing his grip. "Or you could, oh I don't know, say, _murder them?"_ he added with a Russia smile.

"Eh…uh…erm…" Alaska's plan worked perfectly. America turned to the nearest state and told them they were going to the store. Alexei kept smiling until the point that America was out of sight.

"Hah. Так что же нужно- ой!" He sat up, looking for a source of red. He headed to his bathroom, washing off his arm.

Was it really his fault he had Hemophilia?

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey! Guess who came back to life? This idea came to me while listening to Dark Miku, and i decided it had been too long. Hope it was all right for being gone so long. I see Alaska actually being Alexei Romaov. When the Romanov family was assassinated, the remains were found 60 years later. Along with one of the sisters (Tatiana, i think) Alexei's remains were never found. He also had Hemophilia (bleeding disorder thing) so I thought it was natural for Alaska to have it too. **

**Reviews appreciated! **

**Time to se what our favorite crazy Alaskan said!**

**Почему в мире не я хочу, чтобы это сделать?= Why in the world would I want to do that? **

**Так что же нужно- ой = Now what do you have to- ow!**


	13. Salmonella, Cheese, and Bananas

"I want your love and I want your revenge! You and me could write a bad romance!"

"New Yo'k must've eaten something…" Massachusetts told herself, staring her fellow state.

"Hah, what makes ya think that?" Pennsylvania asked, smirking a bit. "I like this New York"

"Can you take anything se'iously?" she asked, irritated. It wasn't often states started singing into cheese sticks.

"WHAT THE HELL'S HE DOING WITH MY CHEESE! ? !" Wisconsin looked ready to kill New York with a butter stick. (Yes, he could do that.)

"Ra ra-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga Ooh la-la Want your bad romance! Ra ra-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga Ooh la-la Want your bad romance!"

"Somebody please stop him…" Delewhere asked, watching New York dance around.

"Noooooooo!" Utah ran in, whining. "Don't!"

"Wait wait wait, Utah?" Massachusetts looked at him. "Since when do take his side?"

"Well," he looked at the ceiling, rocking on his heels. "Uh…Hey, New York!" Utah jumped up onto the couch with New York.

"I want your love! And I want your revenge! I want your love! I don't wanna be friends!" New York sang. He handed (Okay, threw) a banana to Utah, who did what everyone dreaded.

"Je veux ton amour! Et je veux ta revanche! Je veux ton amour! I don't wanna be friends!"

"E'…since when does Utah speak F'ench?"

"Since when is he a good singer?" Florida asked.

"Oh geeze." Pennsylvania laughed, standing with a cell phone camera. "This is sooo going on YouTube."

"No no no, over here." California brought Pennsylvania to a better filming spot. Delewhere sighed.

"That would be a bad romance…"he murmured, looking away from the banana-Lady Gaga-Yorker-Utahan-chaos.

"Y'know," California said from the other side of the couch, "that would be a fun crack pairing." She smiled at Massachusetts. "It'd get York out of you hair, ne?"

"Hmm…" Massachusetts thought for a few moments (about four seconds) before responding. "That would be 'eal cool, actually."

"Please don't tell me this is actually happening." Delewhere put a hand over his eyes and shook his head when Florida came down and started 'investigating' the eggs.

Within a few hours, New York and Utah would be unconscious on the couch, and nobody would mention what had happened to the two.

It would have a lasting impression on the match-makers California and Massachusetts though.

* * *

**A/N**

**Yeah! I did make a crack pairing! Now what! ? (Also, the space between ? and ! is because without it, one of them gets canceled out.) But you know, it would be a FUN bad romance. **

**Apparently, there was a salmonella outbreak on eggs, there was Teto singing bad romance, what did you expect? Pennsylvania brought bad eggs and New York ate them before he could get rid of them. So that happens.**

**R&R makes me happy. ^_^**


	14. KumaSomething

"Stupid Alfred." Alaska murmured to himself as he walked down the road. "I am Russo-Canadian. Mama is Canadian and papa is Russian." he violently kicked an old McDonald's bag. "And honestly, can't he be a bit more careful of where he puts his trash? That Swiss person has no trouble at all. It's all clean where he lives...I wish I could go to Europe. I want to go home with papa and see mama." Alexei sighed, looking longingly east. "I wish I had-" he stopped in his tracks, staring at a shooting star across the sky.

"Oh!" the Alaskan closed his eyes and held his breath. _I wish..._ he thought _I wish I had a friend when I wasn't with mama or papa or Michigan._ He opened his eyes to another star, brilliantly streaking across...

Oh, wait. That was just Italy again.

"Hmph." Alaska walked off in his own direction, opposite of the Italians. "I thought he would have some more common sense.'' he walked a while longer, staring into space, thinking of how he was a state, how he was Alaska. He was a...

"-Kuma, Kuma, Kuma!~" Alaska turned, startled to see a singing polar bear. "Not a car! Kuma, Kuma, Kuma!~"

"Um..." he inched closer to the bear cautiously. "What are you doing here?"

"My arch rivals are fried shrimp!~"

"Hey..."

"I think I was chocolate in my past life!~"

"Who are you?"

"Hm?" it looked up at him. "I'm Kuma..." the bear, Kuma-something-or- other, looked at the sky like Alexei had earlier. "Ku...ma..."

Apparently, it forgot it's name. The self-proclaimed Russo-Canadian tried to remember where he'd heard the name before.

"Ku...ma...KICHI!" he blurted out without considering the fact there was a talking, singing, small polar bear who had amnesia. Alaska picked up Kumakichi and walked off to teach him the joy of salmon.

* * *

**A/N**

**...**

**Who was the bear again?**

**Kidding! I know Kumajiro. He's Canada's bear! Somehow, Alexei didn't know that. **

**Also, yes, the 'I am a bear' song is real and those are some lyrics.**

**And one more thing; salmon. There is a website for Alaskan salmon, so yes, salmon were necessary.**

**Never keep typing if your eyes start getting tired at 11 at night (that statement must make me a hypocrite) and please review!**


	15. Odd Laws and Utah's Cooking

"You did _what_?" Massachusetts asked, staring at the much younger state. "_Please_ tell me this isn't 'eal."

"B-b-but it was in a paper bag!" Utah exclaimed, franticly waving said bag and its contents in the air. "The law says it's illegal to walk down a street in Salt Lake City carrying a paper bag containing a violin! I swear! Go Google it!"

"Utah..." Delewhere put his hand comfortingly on the other's shoulder. "It's just a violin. How could that be so bad?" Alaska walked in just then, comforting the southwestern state.

"I have laws people don't understand, too. It's all right."

"R-really? !" Utah's eyes lit up, staring at the platinum blonde state. "Like what?"

"It is illegal to bring your pet flamingo into a barber shop in

Juneau."

Silence.

"Что?"

"Well, all 'ight. I guess I have my sha'e of wei'd laws too."

"Oh, some weird laws, eh, Mass?" New York, hearing the commotion that he didn't cause, came down to get involved.

"Yeah. What of it, Yo'k? So you have to take a bath befo'e bed and can't have a go'illa in the back seat of a ca', what's so wei'd about that?" Massachusetts crossed her arms, glaring at New York. "Don't even get me _sta'ted/_ on _you/' _laws."

"Shut it, Mass!" New York went into the refrigerator for soda, also making sure Utah didn't cook anything... _strange_ again. "My law about not greeting another person by putting your thumb on your nose and wiggling your fingers is perfectly justifyable." He walked back in, carrying a soda. "Now that's just weird!"

"So it's illegal?" Florida asked, skipping down the stairs. "That doesn't make sence. Now, a _good _law is paying to keep your elephant tied to a parking meter. _That_ my friends, is a good, sensible law."

"Нет, it is not!" Alaska looked at Florida in confusion. "Forgive me if I am mistaken, but I don't believe _any _state is home to elephants."

"What about _me_? !" Wyoming called down the stairs. "He-_llo?_

Republican, over here!"

"No, we mean_ real_ elephants!" New York called up to her. "Y'know, the animal from South America!" Wyoming stopped talking, and was probably back to fighting with Colorado.

"IDIOT!" Massachusetts made her presence re-known, smacking New York on the head. "_AF'ICA!_ THEY LIVE IN _AF'ICA!_"

"Ahh!" The boy stumbled to the floor, rubbing his head. He looked back up at the blonde. "Um..._ow_!"

"Yeah. _Ow."_

"Eeek!" Utah ducked down behind the couch, causing everyone to stare down at him. Moments later, several rifle shots rang out, startling the others and making them join Utah.

"What in the wo'ld was _that?_"

"N-Nevada..." Utah said, shifting around nervously.

"Man..." New York tried to see over the couch, fearing the worst.

"What's up with _her?_" Alaska asked, sitting next to Florida.

"NO! I REFUSE TO LET THIS HAPPEN!"

"N-Nevada, c'mon, chill..." a familiar voice said soothingly, but from the sounds of gunfire, it wasn't working.

"I-is Cali all right?" Florida asked Utah franticly.

"Well..." the brunette peeked up. "Yep! We're safe. She's coming down." The five states got up, startling California.

"Whoa, guys, what is this, team hide-and-seek?" She asked calmly.

"That's not it." Utah smiled, rocking on his heels. "You see-"

Just then, the oven buzzer went off. "Ooooh! _That's_ what I was cooking!" The other four looked at each other cautiously. Utah was either making something delicious or something terrible.

"What a'e you cooking?"

"I don't know! I just mixed a bunch of recipes together.

Silence.

"DAD!"

* * *

**A/N**

**...**

**Dear pancake gods what did I just make here?**

**So, I heard about some weird Icelandic law against blowing on a lamppost. …Really, nothing perverted intended. It's really illegal to blow air onto a lamppost.**

**And then…**_**this**_** monstrosity of craziness was born.**

**SO! Suggestions?**

**(Geeze, this things keep getting shorter. They LOOK longer when I'm typing...)**


	16. Little Rebel and Another Car

"Oh, come on, Mass!" Rhode Island whined, trying to push the other colony off. "I know I have different religious views than you, but do you really need to _kick me out?_ It isn't that ba-"

"It _is_ that bad, and _yes_ I need to expel you." Massachusetts answered coldly, dragging the lighter colony away. "Now you go." He stared at the blonde. "Go on now, shoo!"

Rhode Island sighed, sulking away and walking south for quite some time.

"Stupid Massachusetts," he grumbled, kicking a rock along. "The whole reason dad brought us here was so we would have religious freedom…seems anything _but_ free, now." He laughed bitterly to himself, looking at his surrounding area. Several Native American tribes now surrounded him. _These people are all free… _He thought to himself, staring at them all. _Maybe…_

_

* * *

_

"Hey, Mass! Did you hear what Rhody did?" Connecticut called, running towards her.

"Do I want to?" she asked in disinterest, polishing New York's rifle.

"Oh, man, you wont believe this!" Connecticut moved the rifle out of the other's view, continuing on. "So after you expelled him from your place, he went all bonkers and made his own little colony. And I mean _little. _Here," he pulled a map out of his back pocket. "That little shaded area? Him."

"Well, what's the big deal? It's not like there's much out there. The natives will probably run him out soon enough." The girl rolled her eyes arrogantly. "How can a rebel like him make a colony?"

"You'd be surprised." Before the girl could protest, Connecticut took her hand, taking her to Rhode Island's new colony. It was little, but for a little colony, he was doing quite well. No shooting at Native Americans, no hanging for religious rebellion…yep. It was pretty nice.

"…All 'ight, I'm surprised."

"Didn't I tell you?"

The two watched in amazement as the littlest colony chatted with the Native Americans, keeping his cool so easily. Massachusetts looked up at the churches. They looked so…free, open…she looked back to the conversation at hand. Nope, no getting run out of town here.

"But you know what?" Massachusetts glared at Rhode Island through the bushes. "I'll bet this ends in disaster."

* * *

"And you said he'd fail!" Connecticut mocked, texting New Hampshire, asking what to get for Rhode Island's statehood birthday.

"Shut _up_, Connecticut!"

"Nngh…" America fell on the floor for some reason, causing the other two to pick him up and put him on the couch.

"Daddy?" Hawaii asked, coming out of nowhere. "Are you all right?"

"Honey, remember when I said that New York wasn't aloud to drive?" The three nodded, looking at their dad. "Well, don't let Rhode Island, either." Massachusetts looked at her dad, then the smallest state heading up the stairs, then back to America.

"He's still a rebel."

* * *

**A/N**

**TaDa! Rhode Island chapter! **

**Okay, okay, these chapters are still a bit short, but, hey! There here, right?**

**Again, requests are fun to make, fun to type, fun to read...**

**Requests are fun. :3**


	17. Michigan VS Ohio

"DAD!" New York called, not looking up from his target practice.

"Michigan and Ohio are fighting!" Another shot rang out, and America walked downstairs.

"What now? They're fighting?" He asked. New York nodded, still shooting at his target on the tree. America nodded back, walking out and towards the back yard, where he heard quite a bit of screaming.

"NONONONONONONONONONO-"

"Hey hey hey, settle, kids," America separated the two, holding them back. "Now," he let go, putting his hands on his hips. "What seems to-HEY!"

"GIVE IT!"

"I WAS HERE FIRST!"

"WELL BEAT IT, WOLVERINE!"

"YOU BEAT IT!"

"NO! I WAS HERE!"

"NU-UH!"

"YEAH-HUH!"

"QUIET!" America pulled the two apart again. "Now," he restarted, keeping a strong grip on the two. "Let's try this again. What happened?"

"MICHIGAN WANTS TOLEDO!" Ohio shouted, not giving the blonde territory any room to speak. "But he CAN'T have Toledo because I'm a STATE and he's just a TERRITORY." He crossed his arms, glaring at Michigan.

"But I was here first." He retorted to the brunette, speaking firmly for once. "So I think it's YOU who needs to leave."

"Michigan..." America sighed. He really hated to put one part of him over the other, but Ohio was right. He WAS just territory. "You have to give up on Toledo."

"But he shot at me!"

"You did first!" Ohio interjected, as he'd always done. "You-"

"Ohio, please," America stopped him again, and he was silent. "Michigan, will you cooperate with me?"

"Well..."

"I got an idea," the nation said gently, taking out a map of himself. "See that big ol' peninsula there? If you let Ohio over here take Toledo, I'll give you that part up there. It's near Lake Superior, too." America looked at Michigan expectantly. "Well?"

"Alright." Michigan said, muttering something under his breath about it being just 'God forsaken land' or something or other.

"Sweet!" Ohio cheered, running off. Michigan walked away, still moping.

"He'll get over it," America sighed, shaking his head.

* * *

"Hey, Ohio?" Michigan asked, speaking softly.

"Yeah?" Ohio looked at him, still feeling victorious from decades ago.

"You know my peninsula?"

"Yeah?"

"And all the iron ore and copper there?"

"Yeah?"

"And how it's on Lake Superior?"

"_Yeah?_

"And the tourism there?"

"YEAH?" Ohio glared, starting to get a bit irritated.

"I think _I_ got the better deal."

"Oh, shut it."

"Well I did!"

"You just wait 'till Saturday, Wolverine."

"I hope you know I've taking a liking to that name."

* * *

**A/N**

**So...**

**PLEASE DON'T EAT! ME I'M SORRY!**

**Ehehe...I've been trying to get around to the requests, but I'm kinda stumped. I promise I'll get to them soon.**

**I think.**

**Yeah, probably. Don't worry. They'll get done.**


	18. Depression?

"Woah, bro," North Dakota said, now in the spotlight. "Least depressed state as of this year? Dang..."

"What's to get depressed about?" South Dakota said, smiling. "And you aren't too far off either. I mean, nine? Sure, it's almost one, but the lower your number according to this chart, the better off you are."

"You're twenty-one Alaska?" Michigan asked softly of his friend.

Alaska countered by pointing directly below his name.

"Well, you're twenty-two." the Russian-at-heart said, then smiled a bit. "We're closer than we think, da?" Michigan laughed a bit, then looked over to New York, who (as always) was making quite a fuss.

"Well, it isn't MY fault I ranked nineteen!" Of course, he was yelling at Massachusetts. "And YOU aren't much better."

"MUCH being the key wo'd." She put her hands on her hips, irritated. "But sixteen is BETTE' than nineteen, isn't that 'ight?"

"Um, guys..." Arizona called New Mexico and Colorado to where they could see the screen. "Y-you might want to see this..."

"Que?" New Mexico asked, heading over.

"Something wrong, Arry?" Colorado asked affectionately, looking at the list. "Ouch, twenty-five?"

"She's better than us," New Mexico said, his voice coated in a thick Mexican accent. "You're at thirty-five. I'm at _trienta y _

_siete_, but..."

"No, you guys," Arizona persisted at her corner-boarder states, and had atracted New York's unwanted attention by then. "Look at who's in the worst ten."

"Lets see..." New York stood behind the three and read through the list calmly. "Ohio...agh, always figured something was wrong with Rhode...wait...is that last one..."

Fourty-nine states gathered around the computer to get a glimpse of the most depressed state in America. Even Alfred himself, who was curious as to what all the commotion was about, had walked in, and was staring at the screen.

"But...no, that can't be right..."

"Dad?" Arizona looked at him with worry written all over her.

"Hold on, copper girl," America said, usually not calling his states by their nicknames. After checking in with several people, he came back in, shaking his head.

"I just don't believe this..."

* * *

"Hmm..." Utah sat on the platform marking the boarder of Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and himself. He stared up at the sky, remembering how he dreamed of being Deseret. "It's funny how dreams fade away so fast..." He said to himself, laughing softly as tears welled up in his eyes. "And how memories can hurt so much..."

_No, Utah, you are NOT Deseret and you are NOT a state._

_But why?_

_You're a Mormon._

"And to think..." Utah whispered to nobody, tears now running down his face, "That playing dumb would get me in..." He sat in silence, somehow smiling through it all. He left the room while the others were doing the annual 'top state for' survey. Once they got to depression, intuition told Utah he'd be one of the worst.

So he left.

"But there's no time for acting all sad!" He shouted reassuringly to himself. "I gotta go learn how to use the microwave!~" The brunette whipped the tears off his face and ran back towards their home in Colorado, where they were staying for the next few days due to a meeting.

And the Utah they all knew was back.

* * *

**A/N**

**WOO!**

**Another chappy! I've had this for awhile and found it, thinking 'why didn't I post this earlier?'**

**The data for this **_**is**_** a bit old, seeing as it was conducted in 2007. I wrote this anyway, for just a bit of angst in the states lives.**

**And really-UTAH?**


	19. About Their Size

Texas smiled to himself, walking alongside the other states to go meet the new one. This would be the forty-ninth, and Texas wanted to make an impression on him. After all, he _was_ the biggest state.

"So," Oklahoma joined his side, smiling as they walked. "Got any crazy plans? Like cow chip throwing?"

"Nah," Texas kept walking, thinking of how he should make steak that evening. "And, really Oklahoma, that's an odd sport, I have to admit."

"Well, you can't say it isn't fun."

And so the states gathered in the living room to meet the new state. _He's form Russia?_ Texas thought, fairly confused. _I thought dad HATED that Russia guy, but…_

"...thirty-three thousand miles of coastline…" America read through Alaska's state facts, as he did with every other new state. "…twenty-nine volcanoes…"

"Geeze…" Texas nudged Oklahoma, still watching Alaska. "If e has that much of everything, he's gotta come close to largest land mass, huh?"

"Um…" Oklahoma kept listening, thinking he wouldn't just be closest. "Yeah…"

"…area, five hundred eighty-six thousand, four hundred square miles…"

Oh, shoot.

Texas' eyes widened. Was it really _that_ much? He was always the largest state in the United States. _Always._ Never second, but _first. _But with two hundred sixty-two thousand square miles of territory, it was clear that this little Russian had outdone him.

"No. Friggin. Way." Oklahoma looked at Texas, who was still fixated on state number forty-nine. "Hey, Tex, looks like-"

"I want my land back." Oklahoma simply stared at his friend, who now took out a map. "All that. I want it. I used to go up into Wyoming. _Wyoming._ And if I got all that back, everythnin' would be right as rain."

"Uh, Tex…" Oklahoma tried to calm him down, but the now second largest state had vanished.

"I'm just gonna make myself some steak and pretend this didn't happen." Texas said, sighing. "Besides, all that's up there is an oversized icebox…"

"Это так?"

"Huh?" Texas nearly jumped, then saw who it was. "Listen, _kid_," he glared at the younger state. "I don't know who you think you _are_ for speakin' that tongue in our house. You live in America, you speak our language,_ icebox." _Several other states had come to watch, muttering things to one another about who would win.

"Я отказываюсь говорить болтание, которое Вы называете английским языком."

"WHAT?" Texas looked at him, wide eyed and dumbfounded. Nobody ever went against him. Sure, he wasn't the oldest, like Delewhere, but what he said always was what the states would do. Alaska smirked and exited the room, apparently feeling quite proud of himself.

"U-um, if I can say something…" Texas looked over at Michigan, who was timidly playing with a lock of his hair. "He, um…he said, 'I refuse to speak the blabbering you call English' or something like…that…um…what are you…"

"…Hey Oklahoma," Texas called in defeat. "Got any more cow chips?"

* * *

**A/N**

**OK! So we have Texas.**

…**I know, I know, it's pretty short. I didn't have any idea what to do with him.**

–**Fails at Texas-**

**Well, it's up, so if there's anything you like about The Lone Star State then you can mention it and I'll redeem him.**

**So, anyone in PA? Zenkaikon is coming up. ^_^**

**P.S.-"Это так?" means, "Is that so?"**


	20. Cow Chips

"Dinner!" Oklahoma rang the dinner bell, causing all the other states to run in.

"Oh, Oklahoma," America sighed, staring at the feast he'd made. "You always make the best food,"

"I try," the black-haired state responded, smiling modestly. "This IS my state meal, after all." Chicken fried steak, corn bread, grits, strawberries, barbecue pork, and a ton of other foods were set out at the states' unusually long table. "Pass the steak, New York?"

"Sure. And, Oklahoma..."

"Yep?" He looked up from his plate, watching New York. "What is it?"

"Well..." New York looked over at Alaska nervously. "It's like..."

"_Well_," Alaska cut in impatiently. "New York and I were wondering why it was illegal to go whaling in your state if you're a landlocked state." The albino went back to his dinner, still glaring at New York.

"You know what? I LIKE whales. I won't have anyone trying to bring them in their pool and hunt for them like that." Oklahoma continued to eat, already on the pie he'd made. "Besides, you can't walk on a bus with a fishbowl full of fish."

Silence.

"Um, c-can I say something?" Michigan asked timidly. "What exactly was th-that _thing_ you were talking about? C-cow chip throwing?"

"Oh, boy," Oklahoma smiled, apparently thinking of all the fun that went along with the words. "That'd be when you take some dried-up cow crap and toss it as far as you can!"

More silence.

"I..." Utah walked away from the table, sneaking some pie in the process. "I'm not hungry anymore..."

"That. Is. AWESOME!" Wisconsin yelled, banging his hands on the table. "I'm _so _going to do that with you this year!"

"Yeah!" Oklahoma stood up, and the two left, making their action plan.

"...but, really," New York said hesitantly, breaking the silence.

"Why is whaling illegal there?" After more silence, he went back to his food, muttering, "Does it disturb the cow chips or something?

* * *

**A/N**

**Cool. Got Oklahoma up here!**

**I know, also short…but I don't know who's idea cow chip throwing was, but they had to have been pretty creative or out of Frisbees. O.o**

**Anyhow...please review! Reviews are ****fun to read!**


	21. Mike and Confusing Mottos

"Hey! Colorado!" Arizona called up to him. "Get off the roof! Do you think we can climb up there too?"

"Whoops," Colorado climbed down, then turned to face his three corner states. "I figured it wouldn't be that hard to get up, seeing as how I got up so easily."

"Yeah, but we have Utah."

"HEY!" Utah shouted, faking a hurt expression. "It's words like that that hurt my _soul." _He crossed his arms, pouted, then apparently forgot what he was so upset about. "Hey, Colorado! Who's Mike?"

"Oh, Mike the headless chicken…" he looked up at the sky dreamily. "I remember that guy…"

"Remind us again _why_ you had a headless chicken?" New Mexico chimed in, staring suspiciously at the blonde. "I would understand maybe a featherless chicken, or even a missing wing, but…"

"Why _headless_?" Arizona asked in disgust.

"I WANT A HEADLESS CHICKEN!" Utah shouted ecstatically, jumping up and down. "What happened to Mike?"

"Well, some farmer, from Fruita I think, decided he wanted a chicken dinner. So the guy walked outside and picked up Mike. Wanting to leave as much meat as possible, he cut as close to the head as possible, but the bad shot allowed Mike to live for years after. The farmer fed him with a eyedropper to keep him alive."

"Ew…" Arizona sighed, still disgusted by the whole ordeal. New Mexico stared at Colorado, still confused by it all.

"Oh, _there_ he is!" As if on cue, a headless chicken bearing a nametag that said 'Mike' walked over, like any other chicken.

"THAT IS SO COOL!" Utah went back to jumping up and down. "I wanna pet it!" When he did the chicken flailed for a moment, then went back to turning its invisible head.

"Isn't he sweet?" Colorado said calmly, smiling at the two.

** "**COLORADO!" At that moment, America ran out at full speed, apparently not noticing the de-headed chicken that Utah was playing with. "I NEED A HAMBURGER!"

"Okay, dad," Colorado sighed, then looked back towards the other three. "Make sure he doesn't do something stupid," he sighed, motioning to the brunette. "I gotta go."

"Gotcha." Arizona said, and New Mexico nodded.

"One thing though," New Mexico said, studying Colorado. "What _is_ your state motto? 'Nothing without a new mine'?"

"Really?" Arizona asked, giving the two a confused look. "I thought it was 'Nothing without God' but…"

"Really?" Utah looked up at the other three. "I said it was 'Nothing without deity' but I've been wrong lots of times."

"Really?" Washington, of all people, walked by, looking at the four. "Someone told me it was 'Nothing without providence.' So what is it?"

"Um…" Colorado looked around nervously. "It's 'Nil Sine Numine.' But since that's in Latin…"

"Maybe we should ask Spain to ask Romano," New Mexico offered. "He has the Vatican, so he may know,"

"COLORADO!"

"I'm coming, dad!" Colorado left, leaving the others in a fog. Utah looked at them all, thinking out loud.

"Maybe it's 'Nothing without a square shape'…"

* * *

**A/N**

**Hi there!**

**First off, sadly, Mike isn't still alive. I'd be cool if he was though.**

**Second, this isn't all of Washington, don't worry. She'll be back soon.**

**At least, I think it's she...**

**Review for the Belgium face? :3**


	22. Dead Birds

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" Illinois screamed, running in circles. "ANIMALS ARE RANDOMLY DYEING!"

"For Madison's sake, Illinois!" Wisconsin screamed back, using his capital's name instead of God. "Calm Down!"

"B-b-but the world is ending!" Illinois whined, still panicking. "Soon, you won't want cheese and I'll start pronouncing the 's' at the end of my name and Michigan will be Ohio's friend and New York won't get involved in everyone else's business and Massachusetts won't like baseball and Utah won't want to be a stare and-"

"Illinois, calm down!" The blonde boy sighed, shaking his head. That last part about Utah defiantly seemed too far-fetched. "There must be a logical reason for all of this."

"Like all those dead birds on your road out there?" The black-haired state asked, pointing outside.

"Dead birds? What th- WHAT? !" Wisconsin ran outside, staring at all the dead blackbirds.

"Yeah." Illinois looked over at Wisconsin, annoyed. "What did I tell you?"

"Um…I'll get back to you…"

* * *

"It's fairly common for different organizations to experiment with these kinds of mass killings. Labs all over the world do it." Wisconsin explained to Illinois later, feeling a bit relieved himself. "It's likely a lab conducted this experiment, though we won't know until they come forward and claim responsibility."

"Ooooh…" Illinois looked around the room sheepishly. "Hey, got anymore cheese?"

"In the fridge." Wisconsin sighed. His boy-_**best **_friend could really get on his nerves.

"B-but what about the 'raining frogs' incident?"

"Huh? The two looked over to the other side of the couch. "Oh, hey Michigan. When did you get here?"

"…I'll be back in a few days…I need to see Ohio..." Michigan walked out, maniacally smiling.

"…SEE? ! I TOLD YOU THE WORLD WAS ENDING!"

* * *

**A/N**

**Heeeeeeres more Wisconsin!**

**And I know it's also sort of short, but there's only so much you can do with dead birds.**

**This was pretty recent, all the dead birds. It was like, the beginning of January and this lab was like, 'The world ain't ending!'**

…**actually…I don't think people from Wisconsin talk like that…but still.**

**More reviews for a kitty-cat! =^_^=**


	23. The Board

"Hey, Cat," Nate looked over to his sister, laying on the autumn grass. "I wanna use a Ouija board."

"What?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't they be fun?"

"No!" Catherine yelled at her brother, crossing her arms. "That can be 'eally can be dange'ous, y'know."

"Oh, come on!" The raven-haired teen retorted, hitting the grass next to the blonde. "It could NOT possibly be that bad."

"Yes it could be!" The blonde countered, sitting up instantly. "Do you know what those things do?" She asked crossly, glaring at her brother.

"Well..." Nate muttured, looking away from Catherine, rolling his eyes, "if you don't want to, I'll go get other people." He got up and walked over to the side walk, going off to find other states who were interested.

"H-Hey! Wait!" Catherine yelled, chasing after Nate. "Don't you think you should ask Mom if it's okay?"

"Well...sure." Nate responded, rolling his eyes. "Are you joining in now or what?"

"Do you think," The blonde girl began, looking at her brother, "I could talk to the Witch T'ial victims?"

"Um..." The teen raised an eyebrow, stating in confusion at her. "Sure...I guess. Why not?"

"I'm in."

* * *

"Really?" Charolette asked, brushing her hair back. "Well, New Orleans IS one of the most haunted places in the US of A."

"So let's do it then!" Nate yelled enthusiastically, putting his hands on his hips. "Are you in or not?"

"Don't be so pushy, Yo'k." Catherine scolded her brother, pushing him to the side. "Though I'm su'e she'd want to."

"Are you kidding? Why wouldn't I want to?" The southern state asked, crossing her arms. "One thing-I think we'd better get William in this."

"Yeah." Catherine agreed, walking off towards their mom's ominous magic room. "With Gettysbu'g he'e, I'm su'e he'd want to see what will happen."

"What's going on? Ouija boards?" William walked into Charolette's room (which Nate had so kindly barged into) and looked at the two who were left. "Really? I can show you three how!" The blonde teen smiled at Nate, patting him on the back. "Where do I sign up?"

* * *

There were four states sitting around the small, ominous-looking board. Nate bravely put his hands on the trivet, followed by Charolette, William, and a hesitant Catherine. Nate smiled at them all, his eyes glowing mischeviously.

"Is there anyone here with us?" Charolette asked, looking expectantly at the board through her messy brunette hair. The trivet slowly moved to YES as the states stared at eachother in shock, all mouthing out 'Are you moving it?' as any startled person would.

"What is your name?" Charolette questioned again, faking a mysterious voice. The four watched the triangular piece in anticipation again as it spelled out a name none of them recognized.

**BELIAL.**

**"**Belial..." Nate sounded out cautiously, looking at the board.

"What are you doing here?" Catherine asked, as if they hadn't called forth the entity. The trivet moved again, spelling out, I CAME TO MEET YOU.

"Do you know about the other ghosts at Gettysburg in Pennsylvania?" William asked, smiling like a fool. The triangle moved again. I DO I DO, it said, the trivet moving faster than it was originally. THEY BURN NOW, it said, and somehow the board seemed...darker.

"What?" Charolette asked quietly, unsure of what the message meant. "Can you clarify this? I don't understand." As she said the last part of her sentence, the trivet had begun to move towards NO, but stopped abruptly at the K for no reason at all.

"What did you mean by 'burn' just now?" Nate asked demandingly, glaring at the board. It was silent for a moment, then the trivet moved again.

**BROUGHT THEM.**

"W-whe'e?" Catherine asked, starting to feel uneasy.

**MY HOME OF FIRE.**

"Fire?" William and Catherine looked at eachother in a state of panic. Nate looked questioningly at the brunette who'd been asking most of the paliminary questions. She stared back a moment before looking to all three.

"I think we should stop..." The girl muttered, glancing at the board. "How do we keep it away?"

"Go to GOODBYE, Belial." William ordered, having the most experience out of the four states.

**GO TO HELL. WITH ME. **It said, as if 'me' should have, would have been italicized.

"I don't like this anymo'e..." Catherine whispered, her hands beginning to shake. "We shouldn't have done this. We...we don't know what we''e messing with."

"Go to GOODBYE Belial." William said even louder, trying not to let go. "Go to GOODBYE NOW."

**NOT UNTIL I GET WHAT I WANT.**

An unearthly growl was heard by the two blondes, causing Catherine to jump, William almost letting go. A loud thud on the wall behind Nate made him jump back, his hands slipping off the trivet.

"Char, don't let go..." William whispered as the two who did scurried to the door, both starting to tremble. "Letting go before the...demon...says GOODBYE will leave the door open and-"

"I know..." the brunette answered solemnly, although very tempted to do so. "I'll hold on, just...make it go to GOODBYE."

"Goodbye, Belial." William said once more. The trivet moved erratically around the board, seeming to be making an attempt to shake the two off. Charolette pressed down harder on the device out of fear, hoping it wouldn't be able to keep the 'gate' open. William struggled to try and stop it, hoping it would eventually tire, give up, and go to GOODBYE.

"Go to GOODBYE NOW. You don't have a choice. Now, goodbye."

William forced the trivet over to GOODBYE, tapping the triangle before moving it back. "Goodbye."

William didn't know how it had happened, but breathed a sigh of relief as the room's atmosphere lightened. William looked at the others.

"Never again do we speak of this. EVER."

* * *

**A/N**

**O.o**

**I've had a bad case of writer's block, hence why I was gone for...I don't even know how long anymore. A ghosty show thing came on and said something about Gettysburg. So I think, "Oh! I could write about that!" And as if that wasn't enough, my account wouldn't let me add new chapters for like, a week. But I'm back!**

**And so...Halloween in spring.**

**I hope I'll be able to keep writing about the states for a while. As long as my writer's block doesn't kick in again...**

**Yay for too many excuses.**

**Well, we'll see how it goes (hopefully well) and now, I...need to...sleep...**

**-falls asleep on chair like Greece-**


	24. About Iowa's Habit

Iowa walked along the path leading to her house. Behind her, she had a bright-red wagon with a mysteriously human-shaped, black bag filled with something. Upon catching sight of the bag, Wisconsin walked carefully over to her, beginning to panic slightly.

"Hey Ohio…" Wisconsin started, not realizing he'd just made a fatal mistake. "What do you have in th-"

"Hey! I'm _NOT _Ohio!" Illinois walked in at that moment and jumped to Wisconsin's (possibly) unneeded rescue.

"Idaho!" He yelled, pulling Wisconsin close to him, much to the blonde's disapproval. "You can't kill Wisconsin! He's my friend and cheese dealer!"

"Illinois…" Iowa growled, clenching her fist. "I am _not_ Idaho. I. Am. Iowa."

"Oh…heheh…" Illinois laughed nervously for a few more moments before Wisconsin pushed him off.

"Sorry about that Iowa. It's just that from behind you look so much like the other two." Wisconsin admitted, then glared at Illinois. "As for him, he's also sorry."

"I am?" The Midwest state looked dumbfounded for a minute, but when he saw Iowa getting her scythe out, he dropped to his knees. "Kidding! I'm only kidding! Sorry Iowa."

"It's fine…" she muttered, looking at the two through her brown bangs. She _did_ look very similar to Ohio and Idaho, though. Because she was constantly out in her cornfields, having long hair only got in the way. She hadn't realized how much confusion it would cause. "Anyway," she started again after snapping out of her daydream. "What was it that you wanted in the first place?" she asked, now sounding much more at peace.

"What could you possibly have in that bag?" Wisconsin asked her with just the right amount of suspicion and 'innocent' curiosity.

"Um…it's…um…" Iowa stammered, searching for a cover story. "It's…CORN! Yeah, that's it! This is a big bag of corn."

"Is it now?" Wisconsin asked. "May I have some?"

"Um…there's ice in it. Yep. I need to keep it fresh so I put ice in it."

"Sure you did." Illinois pursued. "Can't you just leave the ice in and take an ear of corn out."

"Sure!" Iowa said once she'd calmed down. She'd always been perceived as one of the 'dimmer' states, but that certainly wasn't the case here. "Here ya go!" the brunette shouted once she found the corn ear.

"Thanks…"

* * *

"DAD! DAD! DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD-" Utah paused to take a breath while running, but was cut off before he could say any more "dad's" by who he was calling for.

"Okay, okay, Utah." America knelt down by the trembling state. "What's the matter? Did you loose your _Book of Mormon_ again?"

"N-no…" he muttered, close to tears. "I-Iowa had a-a-a dead person a-and she was gonna eat it, a-and…" Utah burst out sobbing, obviously not used to such behavior. America held him, trying to calm the young state.

"It's all going to okay, Utah…" the nation cooed. "Iowa just has some…strange habits."

"Like eating people?"

"Calm down Utah!" Utah jumped upon seeing Iowa. "It's not like I just go out and attack people."

"R-really?"

"Of course not!" Iowa assured him. "That would be inhumane. Only if they already died will I allow people to…y'know…eat other people."

"Oooooooh." Utah smiled, feeling much safer to be in the same house as a cannibal. America mumbled something about eating people to begin with being inhumane, something else, Finland, and something to the effect of 'At least she usually eats corn.'

"…of course. It's fine when she fracking _eats dead people_, but I get in trouble from breaking a fracking _vase_." New York said scornfully as he watched the ordeal from the top of the stairs.

"Stop using _f'acking _as a way of cu'sing, Yo'k. That's a way to get natu'al gas out of the g'ound, not a swea' wo'd." Massachusetts scolded, but soon realized New York was…laughing. "What's so funny?"

"When _you_ say 'fracking' it sounds like-"

"COOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!"

* * *

**A/N**

**Hello people! I'm alive for this story collection again!~**

**First off I'd like to apologize for putting these things off for so long. I have like, four plot/idea things on a note on my iPod, but I've been busy with school, so I haven't gotten around to them. The year is almost done though, so I'll get all summer to put some more thingies up.**

**Also: fracking. It's a shortened term for 'hydraulic fracturing.' It's a process that takes natural gas out of the ground for us to use. Supposedly, there may be some of this happening at the Marcellus Shale deposit in New York, Pennsylvania, and other states. Fracking has been proven to be dangerous, though. There were some people who had a well in their yard, and the water was always clean. They had fracking wells placed not too far away, and suddenly their water was flammable. O.o  
I'm not too sure how often this happens though. But, hey, you all just got a current event/science lesson. ;)**

"America mumbled something about eating people to begin with being inhumane, something else, **Finland**..."  
**Finland eats livers. Don't deny this. Sweden called him his wife one too many times even though we know Finny _is_ Su-san's wife. **

**I'll get to writing those, but again, suggestions are welcome. Even though I tend to procrastinate…**

**I should really do something about that…****later…**


End file.
